Open Communication vs Defensive Justification

There are quite a few controversial topics floating around our community, and frankly, in life in general.  Growing up, my favorite uncle used to converse with me about political and religious issues that would stir up some heated debates publicly.  Some of my earliest memories as a child were sitting by his pool in the early mornings, watching the sun come up, and hearing his opinions on issues that at the time I had no real concept of their weight on society.  He demonstrated how to read about this issues, listen to all sides, and contemplate everything as evenly as possible before making an opinion.  He also imparted on me that it was perfectly acceptable for me to change my opinion should new information be presented or if I took a little longer to consider why I made my first opinions.  He passed away when I was 18 but his life lessons live strong inside of me.

Over the years I have faced some pretty stressful situations.  My first reaction is to open the lines of communication between me and whomever the conflict, stress, or challenge is with, whether it be a politician, religious leader, family, friends, colleagues, etc.  I listen, I speak, I contemplate.  I often ask questions about controversial issues or things that people don't seem to discuss much.  Usually it's so I can develop a more comprehensive opinion, sometimes it is because I actually have no concrete opinion and I'd like one. Discussion helps.

What I don't understand is why so many people do not answer the questions, instead they get defensive and want to argue a justification as to why they don't do this or don't think like that.  But that was not how the questions were poised and not what the questioning was about.  It baffles me. I was recently told that I am an "outlier."  So is it that open communication is not widespread?   Or is defensive justification the more comfortable mode of communication these days?  Or it is just the that topics - even when they don't apply to the individual - bring up a need to argue instead of try to come up with solutions or answers?   Or perhaps I should just stick to the Disney-happily-ever-after questions?  Food for thought.